How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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