The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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