i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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