I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i used baking grease as lip gloss
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
