Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
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She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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