just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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