my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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