i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize