So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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