I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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