I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
