I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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