This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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