he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
