Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
