He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
