What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital