she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
