We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods