i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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