I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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