Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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