it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
