I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
