covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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