i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
