do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
