IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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