I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
