dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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