i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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