there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I currently don't understand fingers.
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