he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
