that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
