sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
