My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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