I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
