I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my vag is so smooth its legendary
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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