remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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