she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
