Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
