I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you didnt know i had herpes?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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