I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
third nipple confirmed
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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