So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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