Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
