just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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