I'm lost and stupid without you.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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