Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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