a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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