I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
