I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize