i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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