if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
