never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
