I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
