im drinking this country out of the recession.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
