I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
