I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
