The best revenge is premature balding
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
