if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
