wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
