someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
