Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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