I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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