I will die if light touches me.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
