I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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