And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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